Have you heard of modern loneliness? Esther Perel introduced the idea that modern loneliness masks itself as hyper-connectivity. And so people have easily 1,000 virtual friends, but no one they can ask to feed their cat. We are increasingly more busy and more isolated.
We work from home, Amazon Prime everything we need, text our friends… we even have a person go to the grocery store for us when we don’t feel like it. For me, remote work was 5-6 hours of Zoom a day. I was simultaneously never alone and starving for human interaction. But every effort to get together with people felt draining. A land mine of schedules and coordination that I didn’t have the energy for.
As a mom of young kids, I’d been feeling a bit isolated in our new community. Sure, we met some friends and would talk with other families at soccer games, but making real connections as an adult can be tough. Then, I started spending time with my friend down the street, chatting about plants while our boys played. It was like a breath of fresh air. It’s typically last-minute and impromptu. It rarely feels rushed. Now, we see each other at plant sales or school functions and I feel that spark of joy and connection. Our friendship feels easy.
It reminds me of what Perel calls the importance of “playing in the street.” When we were kids, we just went outside and played with whoever else was out there too. They were low-key interactions rather than planned and monitored play dates. You always knew someone would be out playing.
These place-based interactions are powerful. You probably feel it when you run into someone at the pool or park. When you walk the same trail to drop kids off at school.
Neighborhood grocery stores tend to serve as community hubs – especially in tight-knit communities. When you walk in, there’s a sense of familiarity and community spirit. When we lived in Nashville, we had a small neighborhood grocery near our house. It was easy to pop in and we usually saw a friend or neighbor.
That’s what we hope to create – a place that fosters community and brings back the joy of real-life interactions.
More reading on this topic:
- The power of small, unfabulous, mundane, place-based friendships or acquaintance-ships – The Friendship Problem
- Simple answers to the question, what brings you joy? – The Red Hand Files
- The importance of local grocery stores – Why Grocery Stores Matter
- The fall of the dining room and designing spaces for community – Designing our way out of loneliness
